Well... that title makes it sound like I have had a lot of different emotions. But really, it was only two or three... I'll touch a bit on Pure Chaos before I start my venting. May as well do it right here. I've written the crash out, and that's about it. I know where they all end up, but first I have to get Tails pulled from the wreckage. I have a feeling that I'm going to get some hate mail about how I do so... but life's tough, Cream can't be in the middle of this and be oblivious forever. That's all I'm gonna say on the matter. Now, if you want to read about my personal issues, you know the drill.
Ugh. These past few days have really sucked. There have been ups and downs, but I'm starting to lose control. I'm getting less and less stable, and will probably continue to do so until I can recover. See, when I get really depressed, I tend to recover into a sort of polar opposite state. I get crazy and hyper and all that fun stuff. The problem is you see, that I become extra sensitive. It's easier to make me upset. And if that does happen, I flash back to my depressed sate, and then tend to get worse. Unfortunately, this cycle tends to repeat itself for awhile, and few things can break or stall it.
It started with the incident I mentioned a few days ago, with Aleron. We had a bit of a fight regarding his lack of posting to the website. Eventually I managed to calm down about it, but when I went to one of my other online buddies, Inoka/Hugna, he pointed out that really, a lot of what had happened was my fault and I was being rather pushy. After re-reading the log... I really had no choice but to agree with him. It sucked. I felt like crap because I knew now that it was my fault. I was too pushy. I spent the next few hours sulking and venting on to Twitter (@NanoCarp, if anyone cares). Well... that turned out to be a bad idea. See, my Twitter is connected to my Facebook, and apparently some friends saw the tweets on Facebook, and called my parents who in turn, called me. This just shook me up again after I had mostly calmed down. Eventually though, I did manage to calm down mostly. Then, I had a conflict that night with one of my real life friends, let's call him Joe, who was using another real life friend, who we'll call Mac, to try and talk to me. No, those aren't their real names. Anyways, a few months ago, Joe posted a picture of a bunch of MLP Ponies and tagged me as one on Facebook. I absolutely despise that show, and was upset he did that. Whatever, I can't force him to take it down. But I did tell him that if he did something like that again, I'd unfriend and block him. Well. He did. So, I removed Joe from all my friends lists on every website we're both a part of. Last week, I discover him leaving nasty comments on my YouTube videos, and one even revealing some personal information. I was pissed to say the least. So, while I was watching WWE Monday Night RAW, I'm here talking to Mac on Skype. Mac is trying to convince me to undo the blocks. I soon realize that he's just acting like a go-between for me and Joe. I had to tell him to stop. "Listen, I'm happy to talk to you, but I don't want to talk to [Joe] through you." I say. I've put up with crap from Joe for long enough and the whole incident with the pictures on Facebook, was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.
Well... I thought that I would be fine, and felt okay to keep going with school work. Turns out, not so much. I totally forgot to have 2 homework items finished for yesterday. That just was icing on the cake. So... Hopefully today will be better. Gotta get moving, class starts in about 15 minutes. Maybe I'll post my rants from WWE Elimination Chamber after class...
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